I am feeling very down today.

I have no real plans for the weekend, except visiting my mum, and the thought of that is very depressing.  It cuts me up to see her like that, so much so that I find it very difficult to face.  I hope my family comes with me today, to give me some support.

I have this heavy feeling in my stomach, I don't feel like eating. It was great talking to my Canadian friend last night, cos he really understands, having been through it himself.  ( Thankyou xx )

I have to phone my sister and arrange when each of us will visit mum.

I guess it is lucky that it's not this weekend I am going to London, because I would be terrible company like this.

Hopefully, by the time I take my daughter to the West End on Friday, things will be looking up.

I had a lovely chat, with a lovely friend, on cam with microphone, tonight. 

I had to talk quietly so as not to wake the family, but it was lovely listening to that wonderful Canadian accent.

He has a calmness about him, that is very comforting, as I talked about my mum.  He knows what I am going through, it was so good to talk to him.

He also has a wicked sense of humour, much like mine, and that cheered me up.

I know he reads this sometimes, feel free to leave me a comment dear, it would make me very happy, use one of your screen names if it makes you more comfortable. :)

He told me that having seen all my hair history pictures, that I look better now than ever before.  I have matured like a fine wine, it seems. :)  He is such a smoothie. ;)

It has been an emotional rollercoaster of a day for me.  Everything seems to affect me far more than it should.

I ended up saying too much to someone I have no right to say such things to.  Sorry if that sounds mysterious, it's not something I can really explain, even the person concerned is confused, *uncomfortable laugh*.  Suffice to say, I have behaved like a silly hormonal teenager today, and I feel very silly. 

I feel very emotional, I couldn't face cooking tonight, knowing I was going to see mum again, so hubby went and got chips from the chip shop, I didnt have much.  But our daughter had a chicken burger, and it was raw in the middle!!  I was very angry, and I took it back, they wanted to give me more food, but I said no, I don't want any now!  They gave back the money for the burger (only, not the meal) and I said that if my daughter is ill tomorrow, I will be back!

Drove to the hospital, visited with mum, but it is very upsetting to me, she is weak and frail, and they still don't know why her kidneys are not working properly.  I found it difficult to understand what she was saying, but she seems to think there is something wrong with one lung too?

I was crying as I left the hospital, got half way home, still crying, couldn't see to drive, rang grandma and went round for a chat, just to get my feelings out, she is a good listener and a comfort.  Spent an hour with her, then drove home.  It is freezing tonight, the gritters are out on the roads.

My dog has just been taken, very reluctantly, down the road by the lady who trims him.

It is so funny to see. He will look beautiful when he comes back in an hour or so.

I needed that laugh. :)

I woke up to snow today.

I had considered going into work today.  I don't normally work on Thursdays, but there is just too much to do here at home.

Hubby's football team had a game last night, so I have the kit in the washing machine, the shopping to do, the school have called and I have to take something in for my son etc...

Son went to school without any trouble today.

I worked until 1pm.  Came home, grabbed some food and got changed, drove to the hospital, I had a problem parking, but I eventually found somewhere.  Mum was still on the same ward, she was waiting to be taken for a scan.

They let me go with her, nearly having to run to keep up with the black porter, but he was very polite and friendly to us.  They scanned her kidneys, because apparently they are not working at the moment.  But they don't look damaged, they have decided that the medication is affecting her kidneys at the moment.  Back to the ward, and I did mum's hair, got her water jug refilled, and made sure she was ok before I drove home.

I rang my sister with my report.  Cooked the dinner, and watched the DVD we rented, just in time to return it.  It was very sad, about a woman who died of cancer, but fell in love with a man (a gorgeous hunk!!) who got on well with her daughter and so he would look after her daughter after her death.  My daughter and I cried our eyes out at the end.  A very enjoyable film.  I love a good cry.

Only minutes after it had finished, the DVD man came and collected it.

Hubby's football team has a game tonight, and the children have just gone to watch it.  So I have an hour or so all to myself now :)

Ahh peace at last. :)

It seems my son was pulling a fast one yesterday with the stomach ache.  He didn't feel 100% and made it look worse.  To get out of going to school.

Therefore this morning he still didn't want to go to school, and I had to do a lot of persuading to get him there.

Then I went to work, we are very busy, and they are pushing us, about getting the next job done when we haven't even finished the current one!!

I left at 2pm, and came home, excuse me when I say this...but I was incredibly horny and I was glad when hubby came home early, but we were interupted by the phone, it was my sister who was very worried about mum, who is now in hospital.  She was very conserned about the fact that mum seemed worse now than she had been at home.

I was rather upset when I came off the phone.

Hubby collected our son from school, when he came back, I went into town and got the items mum needed and a bit of shopping.  I came home, put the shopping away, and had to cook pancakes for my son and husband before they went out to Colchester United. (It is pancake day today).

As soon as I had done that, I drove my daughter and myself over to the hospital to see mum, expecting the worst, I was pleasantly surprised, she seemed much more clear headed and her speech was no longer slurred.

I went and got her some fruit from the canteen, and some fruit juices to drink.  As we left she was going to do the crossword in the paper, so I was a lot happier to see her like that.

I drove home, phoned my sister and put her mind at rest, I also phoned grandma, just to let her know (other side of the family).

Then hubby and son got back, so now, having got son to bed etc, it is 11pm before I have managed to sit down in front of the computer.

So I am quite tired now.  I have a nice mug of coffee, and I need to wind down before bed.

My son has a stomach ache and is off school today.  I wasn't sure he was really unwell enough to miss school, but seeing as he will miss football practise tonight, he must feel rough, because he looks forward to that.  So I am giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Also it gives me a day to recover from all that walking yesterday.  My legs are  stiff...oh these poor old bones of mine ;)

I have just enjoyed a lovely day out in London.  :)  Even if the trains were a pain.

Part of my journey was by bus, because of egineering work on the line.  Then when I got to London, I had to make a detour or two, on the underground due to other engineering work.

I met Neil at St Pancras, and we went shopping in Oxford Street first, then went to Madam Tausauds and the Planetarium, which was fun, then we went shopping again..he doesn't shop like a bloke, he browses!!!  My husband won't browse, if he wants to buy something, he just goes to one place and buys it, he hates me "shopping around" lol.  This made a refreshing change. :)